Zombie Lovers Unite

When the zombie apocalypse happens, lets face it, the metropolis areas are doomed. Accept it. It’s just one of those things that has to do with high concentrations of people. Crime rates tend to be higher, unemployment tends to be higher, and zombie outbreaks seem to be inevitable. There is a refuge from the storm of flesh deterioration. It’s not a military compound, though it may have just as many guns and freeze-dried meals. It’s a trailer park. 

Your fellow trailer park dwellers might have been onto something when they moved away from civilization. Armed with shovels, the first minions available to you on your quest for survival don’t seem to have any sense of self-preservation, and you seem to like them that way. Beating those zombies simpler than they are already, these minions have been training for this day since they took up the hobby of smashing mailboxes at high speeds in a pick-up truck. Really, the zombie apocalypse is a culmination of all their wildest dreams into a new reality.

Sometimes the shovel-wielding youth of America aren’t any match for a horde of zombies. Sometimes a zombie who has a metabolism problem compounded with unbelievable bloating gets caught up in the works. Shovels would be too close for comfort when that thing blows, so what else can you do except bring in the disgruntled farmers. For years, these angry laborers have yearned for something larger and more menacing than the livestock. While these zombies do walk upright, I can’t lie and say that they’re smarter than livestock. These farmers, however, couldn’t be happier for their chance to shine. So, click, click, boom to them. 

The Survivalists have to be my favorites. They aren’t in the picture; you’ll have to check out the game for yourself to get a look at them. Armed with a .50 caliber machine gun mounted on the back of a reliable pick-up truck, these guys go riding into danger with reckless merriment. If I had to pick what kind zombie combater I would be, I’d be the one holding the gun in the back. Less chance of exposure to the disease, less chance of death, more zombies personally offed, more personal satisfaction. 

The Moonshine Bombers are also an interesting bunch. They load up their wagon with their drink of choice, save a bottle out for the trio, and lob their moonshine into the face of danger. Not while still in the old radiators or bathtubs, but it’s still entertaining to watch them work. They move pretty slowly since, of course, they’re inebriated, but they’re effective. Some would call it a waste of moonshine. Other would describe it as an awesome reason to drink on the job. I believe that they are just mixing work with pleasure in ways that most of corporate America is jealous of. 

Last is the preacher. I don’t know what clerical college he went to that qualified him to not only try to raise the dead, but to make the undead turn on their own. However, these preachers have turned it into flesh-rotting art. Why put yourself in harm’s way if you can simply employ the undead to smoosh others who happen to be undead as well? These preachers don’t just help the people to worship on the Sabbath, they save lives through the conversion of zombies. 

Well, that’s your cast of characters once the world has ended and civilization is on its last leg. I hope it comforts some of you. Even these people need a helping hand though. Whether it’s rounding up a posse, hiring a giant chipper, or nuking the bejeebies out of everything in sight with a crop duster, these extra bonus fire-power boosters give your trailer park dwellers the edge that they need. 

This game is an app that’s available at the AppStore for free, so you don’t even have to buy it to play it on your iDevice. Have a computer you want to play it on? The developers, Ninja Kiwi, actually offer an awesome online version. It’s larger, so you can see the details of the zombies you’re exploding to bits and pieces. Normally, you’ve got to pay for something if it’s awesome, but that isn’t the case with this game. So, check it out at this place right here. 

I figure for my first official review, it’s best that I start with an obvious classic. This game takes “lawn care” to a completely new meaning. I knew that weeds could get out of hand. I’ve heard of plants being labeled as “resilient.” I am also acutely aware that some plants are poisonous. These plants are kicking enough to spit peas at attacking zombies. 

The point of the game is to beat down the zombies with your plants before the zombies invade your home. Your last defense are those lawn mowers beyond the sunflowers. They mow down any zombie is its path. That leaves a vulnerable point in your defense though. That’s the space the zombies will use to get in your back patio door. 

The levels alternate between night and day. Each one brings its own special set of difficulties. During the day levels, there are random drops of sunshine to help you with your planting efforts. At night, the sun isn’t there to help. It can’t hear your bitter cries for help. You have to man-up and plant plenty of pretty sunflowers. 

Your pea-shooters also seem to need shut-eye. Zombie invasions don’t rest though. They apparently throw parties with disco dancers once the pea-shooters hit the hay. You have mushrooms to come to the rescue though. What makes mushrooms more capable to fight zombies at night than regular plants? I truly don’t know. I just know that they work. 

At one point during the invasion, you’ve decided that it was a good time to install a backyard pool. There are other things I would have installed first: a nuclear war bunker, a system of underground tunnels or my own, personal Batcave. Well, to each their own. To protect the water grounds, you either use aquatic plants or lily pads to hold land-lubber plants. 

The end of each level features a “Final Wave” where things get pretty chaotic. The plants only hit the first zombie in line, so beating down a line of zombies can be a chore. That’s what the explosive plants are for. They take care of chunks of zombies and blow them, well, to chunks. Fun, eh?

There are plenty of other levels that I haven’t included pics for. I figured that would ruin the magic of discovering the game for yourself. There are other plants you can purchase from Crazy Dave’s trunk (don’t ask, just go check it out for yourself) and upgrades to the mowers. There are special level rounds, zen gardens to tend, mini games and achievements that extend beyond the call of gaming duty.

After playing through it once, the levels get harder a second time through. So, even if you beat the game, there’s an additional challenge. Crazy Dave picks three plants that are locked into your plant selection before each level. You can either work with these plants, or you can prioritize your go-to plants. Either way, after having this game on my phone for five months, I’m still playing it. It’s a classic for a reason. 

I have a passion for the undead. I’m not exactly sure why, but I love zombies. Any game, app or book that involves the walking dead are immediately on my list of things that I have to check out. I work as an app reviewer for a website, and after review so many zombie apps from the AppStore, I’ve decided to act on a half-hearted threat to start up a zombie website. 

I can say with all certainty that my mom won’t be surprised at all. She’s been worried about my obsession for a while now. Apparently, it’s inappropriate to allow my kids to read a “See And Say” book that teaches them how to speak zombie. It also seems that talking about kuru, which is a disease you get from eating human brains, while at the dinner table is frowned upon. No matter how interesting you might find it. Go figure.